Truths Unveiled Page 9

  “I knew I shouldn’t have gone back!” she chastised herself. “I knew someone would remember. Ryan Collins’ family still lives in the area. And Megan’s, too.” And that’s why she had stayed away so long. What happened could not be forgotten or forgiven. But with her away, at least they weren’t faced with seeing her day in and day out. One of them must have heard she’d come back. Their own grief probably resurrected itself and compelled them to break into her hotel room. Not only was she a reminder. She was also a sitting duck for their unresolved pain.

  Disoriented but now awake, Pam willed herself to function as close to normal as possible. She would get through this, she resolved. First, she’d shower. Then she’d gather the documents she needed to accept the position at Chicago General and take them with her to the hospital. Next, she’d email a thank-you note to Marlene Everett and decline the position in Middleton.

  Feeling somewhat more in control, Pam headed for the bathroom. With that issue settled, one still remained. Tom. No matter how hard she tried to dismiss him, he remained constant in her thoughts. Being with him this weekend made her realize how lonely she’d been. How isolated she lived her life. But that could not be avoided, she reasoned, if she intended to keep the promise she made to God as a child. And her sanity.

  When Pam’s six-year-old brother contracted leukemia, Pam spent every possible moment with him. She stayed with him at the hospital and at home, helping him through the side effects of the treatments. And each night she prayed continuously that if God spared his life and cured him, she promised to devote her life to becoming a doctor and helping to cure all the other sick people in the world. Miraculously, God heard her.

  After more than a year of treatment, Jason went into remission. Later, the doctors said he was cured. Pam turned twelve at the time and began her medical studies by buying a medical dictionary and memorizing its contents.

  And her brother? He was now a happy and healthy computer geek, living in Seattle with his beautiful wife and two-year-old daughter.

  Ironically, Pam reaffirmed her promise to God while recovering from her injuries from the accident. This time she asked God to forgive her for her actions and promised to devote her life to saving people in emergency situations, like Megan and Ryan Collins.

  Thankfully, God again heard her and gave her back her life, including the mental capabilities she’d lost in the crash. He also reaffirmed her knack for medicine. For that, she felt truly grateful. To her, it came automatically. Like breathing. And could not be ignored. Under the circumstances, losing the lower half of one leg seemed like such a small price to pay. But how could she possibly fulfill that promise to God and take care of a husband and children?

  I’m such a fool, Pam admonished, while the hot water from the shower pelted her back. It was stupid to let down her resolve this weekend and fantasize about a future. Not to mention how Tom would feel about her if he discovered the whole truth about the accident.

  The horrid message on the mirror made it clear to Pam that someone else knew the devastating secret she’d been hiding. If she returned to Middleton, eventually it would come out. Carrying around the guilt of that night was awful enough. Just the thought of Tom’s rejection made her ill. So, she’d done what the author of the message directed. She left. And she refused to return.

  “Please God,” she begged. “Please let this be the end of it. And please heal those I have hurt.”

  Truths Unveiled

  Truths Unveiled

  Chapter Seventeen

  “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We will be arriving at Logan International Airport in approximately eighteen minutes. Please fasten your seat belts. Flight attendants, prepare to land.”

  “It’s about time,” Tom mumbled. His fingers itched to use the phone on the headrest in front of him. He’d already tried calling Pam three times, in Newark. Each time he let it ring at least a dozen times, but she didn’t pick up. Nor did he reach an answering machine to leave a message.

  Once on the ground, he dialed directory assistance for Boston Community Hospital. The staff nurse told him Pam wasn’t expected until seven the next morning. He then considered calling her parents, before he remembered Pam saying they had left a few days earlier on a cruise. Besides, even if he did reach them, what could he say?

  Frustrated, yet still determined, Tom rented a car and followed the directions he’d received to the address listed on Pam’s résumé. It took him over an hour to find it. He spent another ten minutes ringing the doorbell. Fearful of drawing attention to himself, he finally left.

  Where are you, Pam? Tom wanted to shout. He stared out at the dark and mostly deserted streets. Starving, he grabbed a bite to eat at an all-night diner and then miserably checked into a Holiday Inn. Thankfully the clerk at the rental car office had been right. As promised, Pam’s hospital was only a block away.

  At precisely seven the following morning, Tom approached the desk nurse outside the entrance to the emergency department at the hospital. He’d spent a dismal night tossing and turning and redialing Pam’s number in the hope that she’d answer. No such luck. At six-thirty, he drove past her condo, hoping to see her when she left for work. But she didn’t appear and he didn’t know what kind of car she drove. Before heading to the ED, he checked out the doctors’ lounge. It was empty.

  “Will you please page Dr. Pam Harrington?” he asked the desk nurse. It took all his control to sound pleasant, instead of grumpy, discouraged and somewhat annoyed.

  “Sure.” The young nurse reached for a clipboard. “I saw her here earlier this morning. Let me check this new paging list. It’s just been updated.”

  Tom breathed a sigh of relief. Thank God she’s here. Then seeing the woman’s altered expression, his stomach sunk.

  “Oh.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing really,” she assured him. “But I just remembered Dr. Harrington is currently out of the building. She’s lecturing at a seminar this morning. Are you a patient? I can take a message. Or maybe you could see one of the other doctors here.”

  “Oh.” He frowned. “I thought she was on the ED schedule for seven.” Then he shook his head. “Sorry. It doesn’t matter.”

  The woman gave him a sympathetic smile. “There must have been a mix-up. Would you like to leave her a message?”

  Tom shook his head. “No, thanks. I’m a friend of hers from out of town. Could you give me directions to the seminar? Maybe I can catch her there.”

  ****

  Pam felt Tom’s presence the moment he entered the large, crowded auditorium. All at once, her heart pounded. Her forehead and palms dampened. She clenched her hands in her lap. Thank goodness she sat behind a long table covered with a floor-length tablecloth. Otherwise, everyone would notice her trembling legs.

  As the first speaker began his presentation, she watched him find a seat up front near the center aisle. He had every right to be angry, she conceded. Then again, she wasn’t sure anger accurately described his unreadable expression. Whatever he felt, he was entitled. After all, she did just up and leave. And yes, her departing voice mail message sounded lame. Clearly, he agreed. Otherwise, why would he have made the trip?

  Busying her hands with the materials in front of her, Pam continued to catch glimpses of Tom through veiled lashes. If the circumstances weren’t so dire, she would have smiled. There he sat, settled back in the theater-style reclining chair, resting an ankle on his opposite knee. He leaned one elbow on the armrest and held a pen in his hand. He looked ready to take notes.

  Pam almost laughed out loud. Give me a break. Yes, he fit in perfectly among the hundreds of attendees, but it was all an act. Though she suspected he possessed a genius level IQ, Tom Jarrod was not a man to sit still for a lecture, especially not inside a windowless auditorium crammed with pompous physicians and medical students. And yet, there he was. Only a few hundred yards away.

  Tom gave her a small wave, his expression proud, as if saying, “Hi, I’m here.�
��

  The action set off a dozen butterflies fluttering around in her stomach. She raised her eyes and half-met the pleased-as-a-peacock-smile he now offered. Oh, brother.

  Pam always associated Tom with Middleton. He and that place were inseparable. Like food and water. Oxygen and carbon dioxide. But now, seeing him in this light, on her turf, so to speak, she realized she felt even more attracted to him. How much more awful could this get?

  Dressed in jeans, a tweed jacket and boots, Tom looked like the majority of the males surrounding him. If only they could live here, together, she thought to herself. In Boston. Or Chicago. Or anywhere in the world. Anywhere but Middleton.

  Then reality bit her in the butt. She lowered her eyes in despair. Tom’s life was in Middleton. His children and his job needed him there. A move like that would be disastrous. And even if they could change the setting, the other circumstances remained the same. Yes, it was an accident. Of course she didn’t intend to hurt anybody. But that didn’t erase the result. And someone didn’t intend to let her forget it.

  Why did you come? She wanted to demand. Can’t you see? It just won’t work. She’d hoped he’d realized from her hasty departure that she found the past just too painful. Obviously he did not.

  Hearing her name introduced, Pam stood and took the podium, thankful when the automatic pilot switched on in her brain. Regardless of the recent events and relentless agony in her heart, she persevered. Medicine was her life. It was all she knew: her passion and her penance.

  Pam’s lecture lasted two hours. She answered questions during the remaining time allotted. Though completely immersed in the subject matter, she could feel the moment of reckoning approaching.

  At noon, the moderator dismissed the crowd for lunch.

  “Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. We’ll reconvene at one-thirty.”

  Truths Unveiled

  Truths Unveiled

  Chapter Eighteen

  Pam forced her hand to remain steady. She reached for the doorknob that led into the small office she used whenever she presented at seminars here at the medical school.

  “Here. Let me.” Placing his hand over hers, Tom turned the knob and pushed open the door.

  His touch felt warm. Strong, yet tender. He held her there, longer than necessary. For an instant, she stared at their hands, unable or unwilling to pull away. Then she broke the connection and entered the room.

  “So, what do you think of Boston?” Listening to herself, Pam cringed at the insane question. She turned on an overhead light, then placed her folder on the desk and turned to face him.

  Tom followed, closed the door behind him and leaned against it. He cast her a half dubious, half humorous gaze. “Oh, well. I love all the traffic lights. And all those one-way signs. The civil engineers must have had a good time mapping out the routes. Mixed with the smog and cars jamming every inch of the roads and sidewalks, it’s truly amazing how everybody manages to get where they’re going alive.”

  “You rented a car?” Again a dumb question, but it slipped out before she could hold it back. “Boston is horrible to drive around if you don’t know your way.”

  Tom furrowed his brows. “Gee. That explains why people kept yelling at me and honking their horns everywhere I went.”

  Playing along, Pam said, “That could be it.”

  “But I liked it better than that thing you call the T. Back where I come from, people drive on the road. Not under it.”

  Pam gave him a sad smile. There was nothing “small place” about Thomas Jarrod, regardless of what he said. But the effect seemed to steady them both. She noted a slight glimmer returning to his eyes. She motioned him to a chair.

  He shook his head. “No, thanks. I think I’ll just stand here by the door in case you try to make a run for it again.”

  Realizing he was somewhat serious, Pam settled on a small couch facing him. Though still distraught, the earthquakes erupting inside her now reduced themselves to aftershocks. “I’m sorry,” she said, meeting his gaze.

  Tom continued to watch her, then she noticed the corners of his mouth twitch into a semi smile. He nodded. “I’d like to hope that you thought you had a good reason for leaving like that.”

  “I did. I still do.”

  He left his post and joined her on the couch. Stretching his legs straight out, he placed one arm around her shoulder and used his free hand to reach for hers. Quietly, they sat there.

  Pam knew she should move away but she found it impossible to ignore the nearness he offered. It will be over soon enough, she reasoned. A few more minutes together couldn’t change anything. Then they could both go back to their lives. After all, they’d both been on their own all this time and done quite well for themselves. Surely, they could survive a lifetime.

  She felt his thumb gently trace small circles on the top of her hand. “You’re not making this very easy.”

  “Good. I don’t intend to.” Patient and firm, he sounded like he had all the time in the world.

  “You know it won’t work.”

  “Says you.”

  Pam straightened, but he kept his hold in place. She fought the urge to fall back into his arms and lose herself in his embrace. Instead, she prayed silently. Please, Lord. Give me the right words to say. Make him understand that we’re just not meant to be. Yes, I loved seeing him again. And I’m flattered that we could still hold a torch for each other. Thank you for that. But it can’t go any further. Otherwise, who knows how far that person in Middleton will go to expose me?

  “Where do you suggest I start looking for an apartment?”

  “What?” Her eyes widened with confusion. What did he say?

  Tom shrugged. “I’ve decided I need a change of scenery. You seem to like it here, so it can’t be all that bad. Or are we going to Chicago? Isn’t that what you said in your message? I’m sure I could get a job there. Or here. It’s up to you.”

  Pam fought the tiny gleam of hope she felt burning through the darkness of their situation. She stood and faced him. “You don’t mean that. I mean, you can’t mean that. What about your farm? The medical center? Your sons?”

  Tom’s eyes hardened when she mentioned his children. “Let’s just say none of that is an issue. Where would we stand if I were to join you, wherever you decide to go?”

  Pam could only stare at him.

  “Do I have any chance at all with you?”

  Pam crinkled her forehead. “Excuse me?”

  He rose to his feet and again took her hands. “Hypothetically speaking, if we lived in the same city, excluding Middleton, and I asked you out on a date, would you accept?”

  “Hypothetically?”

  “Yes.”

  She faltered. “That’s dumb,” she answered finally. “You’re not moving, and I don’t like fantasies.”

  Tom moved closer and tightened his grip on Pam’s hands. She could smell the pleasant fragrance of his aftershave and feel the warmth of his body radiating toward her. Move away, her thoughts warned. But her heart resisted and seemed to take over her body.

  Seductively, he lowered his voice. “What’s your answer?”

  Suddenly, Pam felt very vulnerable. She looked up at the ceiling to avoid his eyes and bit her lip to keep it from quivering. Yes, she wanted to say. But it doesn’t matter. It will never work. And I just can’t bear one more disappointment.

  Tom pulled her closer to him and smoothed her hair. “What’s worrying you?” he whispered. “I thought you told me everything. About your leg, your crazy idea that you caused the accident. What else could there be? What’s making you run away from me?”

  Truths Unveiled

  Truths Unveiled

  Chapter Nineteen

  Tom meant what he said about relocating. He’d spent the majority of the night in his hotel room trying to make sense of the weekend’s events. He refused to believe that God would simply throw him and Pam together, just for old time’s sake, only to tear them apart.

  Pam was the p
art of him that had been missing all these years. She was, in essence, the answer to his prayers. He realized that the moment he saw her standing there Thursday afternoon, at the burning factory with T.J., asking where she could help. If the problem was Middleton itself, and if she couldn’t find a way to bury the ghosts she’d left behind there, then he’d find a way to make the move to keep them together.

  He heard Pam sniffle and felt her pull away from him.

  “I’ve got no right to cry,” she told him. “Please don’t feel sorry for me.”

  Tom noticed a box of tissues on the desk behind them. He reached for one and used it to wipe away the tears falling down her cheeks.